Category Archives: Soccer

Since Grantland… (Week of 25 January 2016)

Every week, we’ll pull some highlights from the ESPN media world on articles, stories, ideas, arguments, concepts, schticks, and discussions that appeared on the World Wide Leader since the demise of Grantland and its unneeded contribution to the world of sports.  Pretty much, this is what the brain trusts at ESPN thought was more worthy of coverage than whatever the brains over at Grantland were producing…


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Filed under NBA, NCAA, NFL, NHL, Pop Culture, Soccer

Red Card Rising

Putin World Cup

December 2010 seems like an eternity ago.  Nancy Pelosi was the Speaker of the House, Ke$ha had the number one song in the country and still hadn’t taken up lodging in rehab, and Brett Favre’s record for consecutive NFL starts ended.

And Vladimir Putin was officially not the Head of Government in the Russian Federation.  While those other three have yet to make any sort of comeback (although, who ever knows with Brett), Vlad has taken vengeance to a whole new level, even for Russia.  The conflict in Ukraine is reaching its 1 year anniversary and no end seems to be in sight.  With politicians arguing whether more guns would be more gas on the fire and negotiations falling apart faster than the Seattle Seahawks offensive playcalling, solutions are needed as the death tolls and damage continue to rise.

But The 500 isn’t here to delve too much into the politics of the ordeal.  Instead, we offer another solution, one with precedent and potential effectiveness: A Boycott of the 2018 World Cup.

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Filed under Olympics, Soccer

Anna Kraft: The German Erin Andrews

Anna Kraft Sky1

Not only does World Cup season open American eyes to the world’s greatest athletes that would otherwise be relegated to 22 seconds of air time on the back end of SportsCenter, but all the lovely musings that come along with knowing about 94% of the world isn’t the United States.  In light of Germany’s great victory to become the true Weltmeister we must go beyond honor the names of heroes like Mario, Tomas, Philipp, and Manuel.  Not only can Germany produce better football, beer, cars and socio-economic systems than the United States, but apparently the pressbox isn’t immune to their superiority.  Enter: Anna Kraft.

This lovely former athlete turned sports journalist is from Leverkusen in Germany’s even lovelier Rhineland.  After studying in Köln and getting her press career started with Eintracht Frankfurt, she has made her way to being a steady presence on Sky Germany.  Who knows, a Miss 500 European Title belt might be in the near future?  So, a little ode to Germany’s best soccer talent, on the field and in the press box.

Anna Kraft: Telegenic (obviously)

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Filed under Pop Culture, Soccer

I Believe in Schadenfreude!

USA Portugal

For the past two weeks, a contingent from The 500 has been hopping around Brazil to partake in the greatest of sporting events: The World Cup. While American tradition says to always strive and believe in the best of things, most Americans are rooting for Team USA. After excising the Team USA demons that were Team Ghana, American fervor was at an all time high. Coupled with a German draw with said Ghanaians, the path was clear for the Americans to actually WIN the so called Group of Death.  The only thing standing in their way was team hair gel aka Portugal.

Fast forward to (5 minutes of!!!) stoppage time and American football was about to take it’s greatest leap forward.

Enter Michael Bradley.

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Filed under Soccer

Miss 500 – World Cup Edition


In 2014, humanity’s greatest international endeavor will once again take place, as it does every four years.  Sides will be taken, competition will be heated, and tackles will be made.  There will be hours upon hours of inactivity followed by last second finishes.  Heroes will be made and losers will go home crying.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2014 US Mid-Term Elections!!!

I kid, I kid.  The World Cup is the spectacle of spectacles (sorry Super Bowl, Olympics-Winter and Summer, Presidential Elections-although a close 2nd, AVN Awards and prom night failures).  And this year will not be a disappointment as arguably the most crazed soccer nation in the world, Brasil, will play host.  As with all sporting events, pundits, bookies, and fans alike get to play the role of prognosticator.  As of now, the host Brazilians are the odds on favorite (3/1) to win, with the usual suspects from Argentina and Germany close behind (4/1 and 5/1 respectively) and the reigning champion Spanish coming in at 13/2.

We here at the 500 Section could sit here and join the normal chorus of comparing rosters, formations, coaching, groups of death and life, etc.  But we would not dare settle for such parsimonious activity.  As the data driven organization we are there is surely only one true objective way to determine this years best World Cup team…by rating them on female hotness!

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Filed under Gambling, Pop Culture, Soccer

Top 8 Mascot Gifs

The 500 Section Sub-Committee on Mascots and In-Game Entertainment is still in preliminary debates on the upcoming Mascot Super Bracket.  In the meantime, may we present to you our top 8 best mascot moments, presented in lovely GIF format:

8. The 12th Mascot
Just remember, mascots are just as committed to their team as fans are.  If not more…

Even if it means committing mascot-on-mascot crimes (which The 500 Section does not condone)

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Filed under MLB, NBA, NCAA, NFL, Soccer

If Sports Were Girlfriend Relationships…

NFL Logo

The steady, long-term, daytime girlfriend.  

Very pretty, but not flashy and over the top (both in and out of bed).  We spend the most time hanging out after work and during the day on weekends.  Take road trips just to see in person for a few hours and super comfortable with doing the introduction to all my friends since they really like her too.  And that might be a problem since everyone also gawks at Miss Popular.  However, there’s nothing of a high reward at the end of the day (aka the Buffalo Bills in the SB and every fantasy season).  Although things are steady, except for the occasional disagreement over something trivial that got out of hand (aka forgetting an important relationship date/the referee lockout), they are not surprising and sometimes guys gotta mix it up a bit.

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Filed under MLB, NBA, NCAA, NFL, NHL, Soccer