2017 Miss 500 Tournament

2017 Miss 500 Bracket 

“All good things must come to an end”

– President Donald J. Trump (I’m assuming)

Six years ago a group of sophomorically minded guys gathered in an Arlington, Virginia apartment to embark on a journey of intellectual discovery.  What transpired instead was the Miss 500 Tournament.  As the years have gone on, after hundreds of illicit google searches and dozens of excuses to significant others, taxes paid have gone up, Friday nights out have dwindled from post 3am outings to pre 11pm pass outs, and some of us even had the nerve to get married.  But Miss 500 came year in and year out, staying strong. We’re starting to move onto the wrong side of 30 and have yet Miss 500 has had less civil or criminal investigations than the 4 month old Trump administration.  But maybe just like Donald Trump pre-impeachment, it might be time to go out on a high note #Pence2020.

But don’t worry, the world someone keeps bringing back Twin Peaks, Tim Tebow, OJ Simpson related media, MST3K, and for some reason Entourage.  So who knows, maybe see you all next year!

2017 Miss 500 Draft Awards

6th Annual 2017 Miss 500 Draft Results

Best Round: 1st (163 Total Votes, 13 of 16 seeded, 10 Top 8 Picks)

Worst Round: 4th (119 Total Votes, 9 of 16 seeded, 5 Top 8 Picks)

Best Value Round: 5th (140 Total Votes, 12 of 16 seeded, 5 seeded picks are Top 8  seeds)

Kate Upton Award: Last year was the first year Kate Upton did not make the cut, hence the creation of this award for longest running contestant.  Last year were down to three.  Now we have a winner!

Congratulations to Mila Kunis, our Cal Ripken Jr. for most consecutive appearances in Miss 500.

Miss Irrelevant: Alex Morgan

Tom Brady Award: Custer for Josefine Forsberg, a #1 seed picked (2nd Overall) in the 6th round

Al Davis Award: Tony; 1 pick seeded 😦

Bill Belichick Award: Custer (All 6 picks seeded; 5/6 picks in the Top 8; most votes – 70) …Runner Up: Ryan (All 6 picks seeded)

Ryan Leaf Award: Tie – Bailey (Kelly Rohrbach; 2nd Pick Overall; not seeded); Mik (Kendall Jenner; 3rd round pick, 0 votes)

Roger Ailes Memorial Award: For the contestant that was forced into action by Safe Pick with the least amount of votes – Kara McCullough (Josh)

2017 Miss 500 Draft Grades

The Miss 500 NIT

A quick shout out to those that were drafted, but missed the cut this year:

Angela Merkel, Kelly Rohrbach, Brianna Holly, Tonya Mityushina, Ainsley Rodriguez, Scarlett Johansson, Eva Mendez, Barbara Pavlin, Yvonne Strahovski, Alana Blanchard, Maggie Q, Shania Twain, Gisele Bundchen, Mischa Tate, Lindsey Duke, Emma Watson, Quincy Davis, Hailey Clauson, Alexa Vega, Antonella Rocuzzo, Vita Sidorkina, Amy Pejkovic, Tomi Lahren, Paige Vanzant, Gillian Anderson, Veronica Vaughn, Diane Kruger, Kristine Leahy, Anna Faith, Claudia Lynx, Kendall Jenner…and thankfully for our future criminal records, whoever Demi Mantcheva is.

Contestant Nationalities

Uhoh.  So even though we were promised #AmericaFirst, we seem to be having an issue here at the 500.  Someone keeps bringing in models, WAGs, and some, I assume, are good people.  All-American Contestants have been going down the last few years, from 35 to 31 to only 29 this year.  Meanwhile, Russian contestants are up from 5 to 6.  Hmmmmmmmm…..

American – 29

English – 9

Russia – 6

Australia – 5

Colombia – 2

Danish – 2

Swedish – 2

Czech – 1

Dutch – 1

German – 1

Greek – 1

Irish – 1

Mexican – 1

Norwegian – 1

Portuguese – 1

Ukrainian – 1

Contestant “Profession”

Instagram continues to make waves, up from 10 contestants to 13.

Actress – 14

Model – 22

Instagram Model – 13

Daughter – 1

Nobel Prize Winners – 0

Chancellors of Germany – 0

Athlete – 3

Singer – 0

Celebrity Cartoon Rabbit – 1

Hip Hop Video Vixen – 0

Miss USA – 1

TV Personality – 3

WAG – 2

Ring Girl – 2

Adult Film Stars – 2

Emma Watson’s – 0

Contestant “Positions”

Not those kind of positions…

Entertainment – 12

Model – 10

Sports – 7

Imports – 13

Flex – 22

Contestant Hair Color

For the first year ever, the blondes are NOT in first place.  Calling all Baileys, calling all Baileys.

Brunette – 23

Blonde – 18

Dark – 13

Light Brown – 8

Red – 2

Conor Marshall Rule Contestants (In Memorium)

Yanet Garcia, Carla Ossa, Jasmine Sanders, Catalina Otalvaro, Sasha del Valle, Arianny Celeste, Sara Sampaio, Kara McCullough, and Logan Browning

Views: Miss 500 Chairperson’s Random Thoughts

Best Seeded Group: The Sixes (Natalie Jayne Roser, Ellie Gonsavles, Margot Robbie, Rosie Jones)

Favorite Seeded Group: The Fours (Three Russians and a German? Please and Thank You)

Age is just a Number: Oldest Contestant (Kate Beckinsale, 43); Youngest Contestant (Juli Anee, 19); Unknown (Balla Yana, ???)

Best First Round Matchups

(8) Alexandria Daddario vs. (9) Michelle Keegan

(5) Alexis Ren vs. (12) Mila Kunis

(7) Catalina Otalvaro vs. (10) Doutzen Kroes

(3) Martha Hunt vs. (14) Emily Tanner

(5) Lindsey Pelas vs. (12) Arianny Celeste

Upset Watch

(11) Emila Clarke vs. (6) Rosie Jones

(12) Sara Sampaio vs. (5) Jasmine Sanders

The 500 Section Sportsbook Odds 

Josefine Forsberg – 100

Sara Jean Underwood -110

Margot Robbie +200

Natalie Jayne Roser +250

Emily Ratajkowski +300

Carla Ossa +350

Lindsey Pelas +400

Juli Anee +500

Alexandra Deddario +800

Hannah Davis +1000

Mila Kunis +1500

Lola Bunny +1000000

The Field +150

VOTING

Round 1 voting commences at 8am Eastern on Monday, May 22 and will close at 7:00am on Tuesday, May 23.  Please use the links below.

As always, Happy (Semi) NSFW Google-ing!

The Hooters Region

The Page 3 Region

The Vivid Region

The Maxim Region

 

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