USA! USA! USA!
After five long years of wandering the global wilderness, Miss 500 has come home. We have our first ever All-American Miss 500! Last year, as Miss Swanepoel graced us with her 500 worthy presence, we joked “today isn’t the time for jingoism”. Well, what better year than to jingo it up with our newest entrant to the Miss 500 family. Ladies and for the most part Gentlemen, may I present to you your 2016 Miss 500…
Miss Abigail Ratchford
On to the (mini) Buzzfeed-esque highlight reel!
6. In the Year of the Miss 500 Instagram, let’s not forget Miss Ratchford’s roots…
5. Abigail Ratchford: Movie Trivia Expert
4. Abigail Ratchford: “Sports Fan”
3. BFFs with 2016 Miss 500 Contestant Lindsey Pelas
2. Speaking of which, the time Abigail Ratchford co-hosted THIS slumber party with BFF Lindsey…
Wait, was that the 2016 Miss 500 Conor Marshall Honorary Award Winner, Charm Killings at the slumber party with Abigail?
Why yes, yes it was.
1. And of course, Abigail Ratchford: All-American
Congratulations Abigail! You are 2016’s Miss 500!
The Chick Fil A Challenge (Sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign)
Last year, we had our first 19th Amendment sponsored Miss 500 Draft & Tournament, and the universe promptly rewarded us with our first female Chick Fil A Challenge winner. Now the Chicken is rightfully back where it belongs. Congratulations to 500 Section President, CEO, Commandante, and Custodian, on his march to the Milkshake motherland. $20 of delicious heartburn and gout are officially yours! Feel free to become Miss 500s first returning champion on our Wall of 500…
– Championship Score
Abigail Ratchford: 10 vs. Holland Roden: 7
– Total Tournament Votes
Abigail Ratchford: 93 votes (would be the all time record if it weren’t for…)
Holland Roden: 95 votes (back to back years where the Miss 500 Runner Up actually had more total votes. This is the only time Al Gore and Abigail Ratchford will ever be mentioned in the same place on the Internet)
– The Road to Victory
Abigail Ratchford: 1st Round, 13th Overall Pick; (15) Kylie Wells, (7) Amber Heard, (3) Marloes Horst, (9) Hannah Davis, (2) Natalie Jayne Roser, and (3) Holland Roden
Holland Roden: 5th Round, 75th Overall Pick; (14) Charm Killings, (6) Natalie Dormer, (2) Hannah Ferguson, (5) Ana de Armas, (3) Emily Ratajkowski
Once again, this entire career ending process couldn’t be done without the great support, participation, and discretion from our voters and readers. Without you, this would be the creepiest thing I would do for 3 weeks alone after work every May. So from the deepest bowels of my heart and misogyny, THANK YOU! Remember, there’s only 340 days until next year’s Miss 500 Tournament, so get to researching!