2016 Miss 500 – The Erotic Eight (Viva Colombia!)

A faint whisper in the wind passed through the mountains of the upper Andes.  It was felt from the docks of Cartagena through the alleys of Medellin.  And Señor was no more…

Excerpt from “A Mexican Makes a Fart”, a poem by Miguel Bodnaro (2016)

Colombia es no más!

After coming into the Miss 500 as stronger contenders than James Rodriguez on a bender in Ibiza, the Caliente Cadre de Colombia has been wiped out faster than a supermarket food aisle in Venezuela.  Catalina: adios.  Loaiza: buenos noches.  Carla: hasta luego.

Colombia has long been known as the land where one wanders into the streets at night, only to face the choice of plomo o plata.  For 500 voters, the choice was clear:  Latina o Gringa.  We’ve done Trump proud my 500ers.

With Colombia out and Señorita de Armas our 2016 Señorita 500, let us bid adieu once more to Catalina and amigas…and watch Señor have a heart attack

Catalina

 

FS1 Style Sultry 16 Round-Up

Here is your updated bracket

2016 Miss 500 Bracket: Erotic 8

 

Upsets, Tip Ins, and Blow(out) Jobs

* Two more#1 seeds are now gone.  The Brad Stevens-led (1) Juli Anne pick is still in the running.

FUN FACT: Juli Annee’s total votes through three rounds: 69

* Two overtime games.  A special thank you to our west coast voters.

(3) Holland Roden vs. (2) Hannah Ferguson: 12-11

(2) Hannah Davis vs. (5) Elizabeth Loaiza

* The (1) Juli Annee, (2) Abigail Ratchford, and (3) Emily Ratajkowski each slide right into the Erotic 8

 

Chick Fil A Challenge (Sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign)

These drafters all still have one horse each in the race:

Ryan x2, Kyle, Mik, Chef, Señor, Brittney, Bailey

 

SABR Metrics

* We’re down to one brunette against six blondes.  Somewhere, a Steve is giddy

* A group of four female Americans, a South African, a Columbian, and an Australian walk into a UMW dorm room….

* Seeds: 1, 2, 2, 3, 3, 5, 5, 9      Draft Round:  1, 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 3, 5

* Five Americans, a Brit, a Cuban, and an Aussie.

* Seeds: 1, 2, 2, 3, 3, 5, 5, 9      Draft Round:  1, 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 3, 5

* 3 Blondes, 3 Brunettes, 1 Dark and 1 Redhead

The Erotic Eight Polls

Hooters Regional Championship

500 Section Sports Book

Annee vs. Jayne Roser: Annee -4

 

Page 3 Regional Championship

500 Section Sports Book

Ratchford vs. Davis : Ratajkowski -1.5

 

Maxim Regional Championship

500 Section Sports Book

Holland vs. de Armas: Pick’em

 

Vivid Regional Championship

500 Section Sports Book

Ratajkowski vs. Holly: Ratajkowski -2.5

 

Polls Close TOMORROW Thursday 12 May at MIDNIGHT Eastern

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