2015 Miss 500 Tournament

Miss 500 Intro Pic

2015 Miss 500 Bracket

When a group of bored guys gathered in a small Arlington, VA apartment in May of 2012, the world was a smaller, less interesting place.  Tim Tebow had just led the Denver Broncos to the NFL playoffs, the words Gangam Style meant nothing to anyone except the brain of a small, round Korean man, Barack Obama was a one term President, Taylor Swift was actually 22 before her song was, and Malaysian planes were all accounted for.  The world has emerged a different place, for better or worse, since that time.  And so has the small experiment those bored guys started in that small apartment.  In 2015, for the first time ever, women officially participated in the world’s greatest bracket challenge known to history.  Suck on that Susan B. Anthony.  It is a great pleasure to say, LADIES and gentlemen…Welcome, to Year Four of the Miss 500 Tournament.

As always, a quick recap of the first ever co-ed Miss 500 Draft and an introduction to your lucky 64 contestants:

2015 Miss 500 Draft Awards

4th Annual 2015 Miss 500 Draft Results

Best Round: 1st (13 of 21 seeded, 10 picks a 8 seed or higher)

Worst Round: 6th (17 of 20 NOT seeded)

Miss Irrelevant: Amanda Soucy

Tom Brady Award: Steve for Ciara Price, 2 seed picked in the 5th round

Al Davis Award: Conor; 1 pick seeded 😦

Bill Belichick Award: Tie – George & Steve (5/6 picks seeded; 4 in the Top 8); *Technically Tony has 6 of 7 picks in the bracket (explained in a later award), but since he’s a Yankees fan, f&*k him

Ryan Leaf Award: Tie – Greg (Shawn Marie Deering 1st overall); Team DE (Emilia Rose Blair 2nd overall, 0 votes)

Mike Ditka for Ricky Williams Award: Chef Lewan and Tony – We had a trade! leave it to two Maxwell alums to pull off the first ever Miss 500 Draft trade; Trade Recap – Chef received a 2nd round pick (36th overall – Emily Ratajkowski); Tony received 3rd and 4th round picks (57th overall – Hannah Ferguson & 64th overall – Scarlett Johansson)

Carly Fiorina Award: To all the female drafters for their combined 9 picks (out of 26 drafted) making into the tournament.  Then again, that 34% success rate was still better than Conor’s 1/6 debacle…

The Miss 500 NIT

A quick shout out to those that were drafted, but missed the cut this year:

Emma Stone, Olivia Wilde, Diane Kruger, Bar Refaeli, Christina Hendricks, Allison Williams, Ashley Benson, and Tina Fey.  Ok, not Tina Fey.

Contestant Nationalities

Once again, #AmericanStrong.  Throw in the special relationship, and the USA and our forefathers from across the pond account for 45 of the 64.  As always, the world remains shut out with zero contestants from Pacific-Asia and only 8 contestants not from Europe or North America.  Please don’t riot over this, Baltimore.

USA – 36

United Kingdom – 9

Australia – 3

Canada – 3

Columbia – 3

Belgium – 1

Brazil – 1

Czech Republic – 1

Greece – 1

Hungary – 1

Italy – 1

Norway – 1

Portugal – 1

South Africa – 1

Ukraine – 1

Contestant “Profession”

But this doesn’t mean they are professional.  Ladies, just remember the value of that college degree when seeing these numbers re: career choice.

Actress – 29

Model – 32

2016 Presidential Contestants – 0

Athlete – 1

Singer – 1

Adult Film Stars – 0 (this number almost forced the Miss 500 Committee to cancel this year’s tournament)

Emma Watson’s – 1

Contestant Hair Color

Complete turnaround from last year’s Brunette 31 – Blonde 22 initial split.  Then again, if the Miss 500 Chair had his way, this would be about 999999% red.

Blonde – 31

Brunette – 19

Dark – 11

Red – 3

Conor Marshall Rule Contestants (In Memorium)

Lowest total ever at six (and really only that high because of Señor Vamanos):

Elizabeth Loaiza, Olivia Munn, Sara Uribe, Carla Ossa, Genesis Rodriguez, Zoe Saldana

Blank Space: Miss 500 Chairperson’s Random Thoughts

Best Seeding Group: The Twos (Kate French, Ciara Price, Brooklyn Decker, Kate Upton).  On paper, the best grouping we’ve got, especially given the anonymity of the 1 seeds.  Then again, name recognition only goes so far here, especially if that name is Hillary Clinton.

Executive Decision: Without any remorse, the Miss 500 Chair executive ordered in Taylor Swift into a 16 seed.  Please mail all you complaints to:

P.O. Box F&*kOff

Washington, DC, 20009

Best First Round Matchups

(5) Amber Heard vs. (12) Genesis Rodriguez

(3) Margot Robbie vs. (14) Emmanuelle Chriqui  (Cast because of their acting “talent” match-up)

(5) Sheridyn Fisher vs. (12) Daniella Grace  (DD Challenge)

(3) Alison Brie vs. (14) Jennifer Lawrence (Nerd Dream Matchup)

UPSET WATCH

(10) Emma Watson vs. (7) Helen Owen

The 500 Section Sportsbook Odds 

Olivia Munn  -110

Kate Upton +100

Margot Robbie +180

Alison Brie +250

Brooklyn Decker +350

Ellie Gonsalves +600

Katrina Bowden +800

Abigail Ratchford +1000

The Field +400

Chick Fil A Challenge (Sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign)

Number of picks per drafter that made it into the bracket

 

Total Top 8 Seeds
Greg 3 0
Team DE 2 1
Val 2 1
Hart 4 2
Tony 6 2
Scott 2 0
Mik 3 1
Josh 3 2
Matt 2 0
Michael 3 2
Moira 1 0
Lorraine 2 0
Steve 5 4
Ryan 3 2
George 5 4
Señor 3 2
Chef Lewan 4 3
Kyle 4 2
Conor 1 1
Charles 5 2
The Custers 2 1

 

VOTING

Round 1 voting commences at 9:30am Eastern on Monday, May 4 and will close at 11:59pm on Tuesday, May 5.  Please use the links below.

As always, Happy (Semi) NSFW Google-ing!

-Round One Voting Portals-

The Page 3 Region

The Vivid Region

The Hooters Region

The Maxim Region

 

 

 

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1 Comment

Filed under Miss 500, Pop Culture

One response to “2015 Miss 500 Tournament

  1. Don

    From OldTimeFan–Could I see what their Grandmother’s look like so I can vote?

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