2014 Miss 500

Polly Lead

We have a Miss 500.  And for the 3rd straight year, we have yet to have a US born Miss 500.  Which begs us to ask the question, is America really the greatest country in the world

But I digress.  This moment isn’t for America’s place in the world, but about one lucky Brit’s place in OUR world.  Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present your 2014 Miss 500 Champion:

Miss Polly Parsons

And to borrow an overused bit from a website with a readership a little higher than The 500, we’re going to breakdown Miss Parson’s glory Buzzfeed Style!

Born on 15 February 1984 in Bristol, UK, Polly Parsons began her acting/modeling career at Elmhurst School of Performing Arts in Camberley when she was just 16.

Polly Headshot

1. But before she was soaking up photo shoots and UK tabloid covers, she was Polly Parsons, co-host of Brit tele show for kids, Fun Song Factory!

Polly Fun Song

2.  And she may have also stared in some low level stage play as the one and only Snow White

Polly Ren

3. But the world of media is all about climbing the ladder.  Where else to go but to a Rice Krispies Squares ad!

Rice Squares

4. But then, Miss Parsons realized her calling as the TV bombshell she really is and has landed a starring gig on the BBC3 prank show “The Real Hustle”

Polly Hustle 2

Polly Hustle

5. From there, Polly’s new found attention meant she would have to be a little more presentable in public than Miss Fun Song or Snow White.  And she does have the fashion sense, whether its modeling them for ads…

Polly Fashion

6. Or strutting around public herself

Polly Fashion 4

Polly Fashion 2

Polly Jacket

Polly Fashion 3

Polly Fashion 5

7. Of course, Polly isn’t all about her public life.  She’s very classy behind closed doors too, like having three pets, including this lovely feline

Polly Cat

8. Or this magnificent bed

Polly Bed

9. And it’s hard to keep that figure without plenty of Brita water

Polly Water

10. Did we mention she’s a sneaker-head?

Polly Sneaker

11. And knows how to pick her rides

Polly Rolls

Polly Porche

12. And what good Brit isn’t near a pot of tea

Polly Drink

13. But sorry dudes, she’s already taken at the moment.  Unless you’re aiming for the Arsenal captain slot too

Polly Vermaelen

14. So the closest you lads will get will have to be dropping a couple £s on a mag for this wag

Polly Nuts

15.  Ok fine, I know you’ve been waiting for the PG13 pics.  You can take the boy out of middle school, but you can’t take the boy out of a man.

Polly LIngerie 2

Polly Lingerie

16. And to placate some of our less brunette-inclined voters/readers, there was that time she went kinda blonde

Polly Blonde 2

17. And then pretty much blonde

Polly Blonde

18. But at the end of the day, Polly is just a good ole’ British girl that loves fun and smiling for the camera

Polly 1

19. So to sum it all up, Polly Parsons might really be an angel sent from British heaven (where dental plans really do exist).

Polly Angel

20. Miss Polly Parsons, Congratulations on being in our hearts and permanently in our Google Search history.  You are our 2014 Miss 500!

Polly 2

The Chick Fil A Challenge (Sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign)

Chick Fil A

Your $10 Chick Fil A Gift Card Winner: MATT GUCKENBERG

Maxim Poster

Your Runner-up and Maxim Hometown Hotties Poster Winner (by default b/c I’m not burka-ing these ladies): MIK “The Half Asian” BODNAR

FINAL STATS:

2014 Miss 500 Bracket – Final

– Total Tournament Votes

Polly Parsons (81 votes…all time record)

Genesis Rodriguez (69 votes…I’m not making that up)

– The Road to Victory

Polly Parsons: (15) Sophie Turner, (7) Gwendoline Taylor, (11) Lena Gercke, (1) Olivia Munn, (1) Jennifer Lawrence (2) Genesis Rodriguez

Genesis Rodriguez: (15) Amber Heard, (10) Gal Gadot, (3) Arianny Celeste, (1) Mila Kunis, (1) Alison Brie

THANK YOU!

Thank you most of all to all the voters.  Without you this would never have been the fun, debated, ridiculous, divorce in 5 years causing experience that makes it the best time and bracket of the year.

On to 2015!!!!

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Filed under Miss 500, Pop Culture

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