Monthly Archives: February 2014

Half Asian Sports Guy’s: Shorter Dude All-Stars!

Last November, One World Trade Center aka Freedom Tower in New York City became America’s tallest building.  But it came too little, too late as the United States is no longer the most stature-d nation on the planet.  Already back in 2007, the Netherlands surpassed the United States as the tallest country in the world meaning that any effort to build bigger and taller only reinforces a cultural inferiority complex.  Oh well.

Instead, we can now celebrate the wondrous talent that exists in the land beneath 1.8 meters!  For decades, the advantages of the vertically aided were pronounced in society.  Playing in the NBA, being a professional light bulb changer, fighting off marauding barbarians with longer sword reach…and, um, yeah, I’m sure there are many other things that the lack of modern day technology where height was a pronounced need for humanity’s continuance.  Instead, today’s society almost penalizes a puberty free of excessive alcohol and junk food consumption.  Whether its sitting in Economy Class, maneuvering the catwalks of a nuclear submarine,  or apparently being a Head of State, falling within the 5’3″-5’9″ range has apparently produced some of the world’s greatest talent.

On to the All Stars!

5. Aziz Ansari (Height: 5’6″)

*May 12 - 00:10*

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Miss 500: Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics Edition!

Russia Curling

Olympics, both editions, are more than just exposes of sports that we would never watch otherwise.  The flags, the uniforms, the non-stop coverage of sports for hours on end.  And apparently when you put a bunch of highly competitive, athletic, 20 somethings in a foreign locale with nothing to do since the local movie theater will finish construction in 2019, you have nothing to do but turn to each other.  And by turning to each other I mean lots of fornicating.  This isn’t just an educated guess, but recently backed up by reports of excessive use of Tinder in the Olympic Village.  So after extensive research, the 500 Section Committee on Olympic Intangible Activities, we present to you our Miss 500: Sochi edition!

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The Millennial Movie Challenge: The Champion

saving private ryan poster

Final Millennial Movie Challenge Bracket

Firstly, we here at The 500 Section: Committee for Pop Culture – Subcommittee for Nostalgia, Movies, and Bracketology would like to thank everyone for participating.  We realize that by the 28672th message, you wanted to file a class action suit against this worthless blog, even with the expectation of no monetary gain.  It is the principle of privacy at state.  We get it.  But thank you again for putting up with us!

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The Millennial Movie Challenge: Championship Match

(AS ALWAYS: If you want to skip right to the voting, just scroll down.  We won’t judge.  We’ll just egg your house later)

Millennial Movie Challenge: Final Four Results

Before we get to our monumental match-up, we would like to hand out some individual awards!  The categories and nominees were listed in our introductory posting.  Without further ado, please celebrate these special movies and individuals for capturing our oh so young hearts so long ago, even if they never captured follow up career.

**Note: These winners were determined by whichever movie gets the furthest along in voting from these predetermined nominees**

Best Cable Rewatchability aka The TNT

TNT

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Filed under Gambling, Pop Culture

Without the utmost respect for Coach Peter Clay Carroll

Pete Carroll

Pop Quiz: What’s going on in this photo?

A) A scene from Breaking Bad where a disgruntled USC fan has decided to go all Walter White on former coach Pete Carroll as revenge for Carroll’s awful handling of the USC-Reggie Bush scandal and his immediate departure as the law closed in, end of Butch and Sundance style

B) The collective piss cups samples by the 2013-2014 Seattle Seahawks rosters that tested positive

C) Peyton Manning’s tears mixed with the piles of orange Denver Broncos Super Bowl XLVIII title shirts accidentally still sitting on the locker room tables that he used as Kleenex and later wrung out by Richard Sherman

D) Orange Gatorade

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Filed under NCAA, NFL, Pop Culture

The Millennial Movie Challenge: Final Four

MMC Final Four

(AS ALWAYS: If you want to skip right to the voting, just scroll down.  We won’t judge.  We’ll just egg your house later)

Millennial Movie Challenge: Elite 8 Results

Life is full of surprises, like the time Peyton Manning decided to forgo throwing the ball more than 15 yards downfield.  But when it comes to the movies that shaped your passage from childhood to adultery adultdom, apparently we all can agree on top notch quality.  Without further ado, your Millennial Movie Challenge Final Four contenders!

(1) Saving Private Ryan

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Filed under NFL, Pop Culture