The Millennial Movie Challenge

MMC Starter

(NOTE: If you want to skip right to the voting, just scroll down.  We won’t judge.  We’ll just egg your house later)

Two text messages.

That phrase doesn’t even make sense in the spring of 1997.  Neither do DVR, smartphone, Eminem,  the Boston Red Sox winning the World Series, George W Bush (although he still doesn’t), Michael Vick, Blu-Ray, Walter White, organic foods, Beyonce, Google It, Barack Obama, and hipsters.

What did make sense were these two words: Con Air.  Last night, the Chairman of the 500 Section Committee on Motion Pictures and “Other” Entertainment (yes, yours truly the Half Asian Sports Guy!) sent out two text messages to fellow 500 Committee Members.  The question was simple, “What order?” followed by 6 titles: The Mummy, The Rock, The Italian Job, The Fast and The Furious, The Bourne Identity and Con Air.

Thanks to an awfully boring Grammy Awards (with an even more awful ending, but that’s another story for another day…although that day will still be one where Daft Punk sucks), your Motion Pictures committee expanded that list of 6 to several comedic titles.  Then several more action titles.  Then even more comedic and teen themed comedies.  Almost 3 hours later,  the final mix of ingredients were ready for the oven.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your Millennial Movie Challenge.

Those aforementioned flicks, along with the 67 other titles you’re about to read, had a (much to my parent’s dismay) significant and lasting effect on the development of their child.  We all want to forget the pitfalls and pitfalls of pitfalls that were our Middle School years, but there’s no denying the movie magic that came out of those tender years.  Whether it was our moral compass (or lack thereof), our funny bone (or lack thereof), our dealing with the opposite sex abilities (OR LACK THEREOF), these movies swayed us, entertained us, taught us, and molded us.  There’s nothing like nostalgia for your formative years!

Of course, we could have just thrown out a power rankings.  But we’re both small d and Big D democrats here, so we thought “Give The People What They Want!”~ Jalen Rose, 2014.  So of course, we decided to have YOU determine the official Your Formative Years Movie Champion!

Without further ado, on to the bracket…

Millennial Movie Challenge – Bracket PDF


Participants: There are four regions/movie categories: Comedy, Teen, Action/Adventure, Legit.  Within each region there were 19 movies chosen.  These regions and categories were determined based on a scientifically proven process otherwise known as The Top Of Our Heads.  Movies had to make an impact as either a funny, action driven, or top notch dramatic movie roughly during the years the High School Class of 2005 attended middle school and high school (~1998-2005).  Some exceptions were made to this framework because: A) Independence Day was just that big of a movie for every 10 year old boy in America and B) I like Super Bad…shoot me.  The committee would like to thank the MTV Movie Awards Wiki page and IMDB for their assistance with this process.

Seeding: Each committee member (Half-Asian Sports Guy and the Real Bill Barnwell) ranked the movies based on the following criteria: Entertainment Value, Personal Preference, In The Moment Zeitgeist, Actual Movie Quality, How Much Did This Improve/Ruin My Perception of High School and/or College.  Rankings were amalgamated and the seeding process was complete.  Play-ins were determined by an ad-hoc committee of five for the final #16 seed in each region.


The following movies were selected but did not make the cut either by low pre-ranking or during the Play-In round:

19s) American History X (Although on the Mt. Rushmore of movies you don’t want to watch with your friend’s Dad and the girl you’re trying to date)

18s) Face/Off (We’re covered in Nic Cage already), The Patriot (not as much staying power and weird to think of Mel Gibson with today’s perspective), Romeo + Juliet (remember, we were 11 year old boys) and The Big Lebowski.  On that last one, be real everyone.  If you were 12 and saw that movie and got all the humor in it, then you’re a liar.  And the two things The 500 Section doesn’t tolerate are liars and END TRANSMISSION.

Play-In Losers) Blade (whatever), Not Another Teen Movie (I was overruled!), The Wedding Singer (it went up against Wild Things and Denise Richards, so no surprise) and There’s Something About Mary.  Regarding the last one, please send all your hate mail to


I promise, there is voting here eventually.  In the meantime, keep in mind that Best Your Formative Years Movie isn’t just at stake.  There are plenty of other accolades to discuss.  These winners will be determined by whichever movie gets the furthest along in voting from these predetermined nominees.

Best Cable Rewatchability

Defined by A) If you were 1am channel surfing and this was on TNT, would you stop, no matter what part of the movie? and B) You landed on the flick halfway through, watched, but then would you stay for the encore presentation for another go around?  To note: remember, this is CABLE so movies with lots of LSV goodies are out 😦

  • Con Air
  • The Mummy
  • Rush Hour
  • Oceans 11
  • The Italian Job

Best Unintentional Comedy/Most Not To Be Taken Seriously

The Babe Ruth here is the Fast and Furious Franchise post Tokyo Drift, but I digress #RIPPaulWalker

  • Con Air
  • The Rock
  • The Fast and the Furious
  • Armageddon
  • Starship Troopers

Most Chick Flicky

Apologies for the lack of PC-ness

  • The Notebook
  • 10 Things I Hate About You
  • Legally Blonde
  • She’s All That
  • Mean Girls

Most Sophmoric

It’s OK to laugh in front of your girlfriends guys, they’ll love you no matter what…

  • Old School
  • American Pie
  • Super Bad
  • Van Wilder
  • South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut
  • EuroTrip
  • Harold & Kumar
  • Dude Where’s My Car

Most “Got a Little Dusty in the Air”

Aka “The Tear Jerker”.  It’s OK to cry in front of your girlfriends guys, they’ll love you no matter what…

  • The Notebook
  • Titanic
  • Cast Away
  • Saving Private Ryan
  • 10 Things I Hate About You

Most “Grew Up A Little That Day”

Our award for most effective “mature situations” scene(s)

  • Titanic
  • Wild Things
  • American Pie
  • Cruel Intentions
  • EuroTrip

The Google

Movie that was a bit underrated at the time, but has aged like a fine wine

  • Almost Famous
  • Rounders
  • 10 Things I Hate About You
  • American Pie
  • Boondock Saints

The Blockbuster Video

Movie that was the hottest (!) thing at the time, but has aged like an Ashley Stevens from high school…

  • Austin Powers
  • Titanic
  • Fight Club
  • The Matrix
  • Scary Movie
  • The Sixth Sense

Most Bad-A$$ Character aka “The Denzel”

  • Denzel Washington in Training Day
  • Jason Bourne in The Bourne Identity
  • Sean Connery in The Rock
  • The Cast of Starship Troopers in Starship Troopers
  • Vin Diesel in The Fast and the Furious
  • Russell Crowe in The Gladiator
  • Harrison Ford in Air Force One

Most Likely To Still Be Funny aka “The Cartman”

  • Will Ferrell in Old School
  • Steve Carrell in The 40 Year Old Virgin
  • Matt Stone and Trey Parker in South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut
  • The Pie in American Pie
  • The Dad in American Pie
  • Broken Lizard in Super Troopers and BeerFest
  • Denzel Washington in Training Day

Miss 500: Millennial Movie Edition “aka The Rachel Leigh Cook”

  • Jennifer Love Hewitt in Can’t Hardly Wait
  • Larisa Oleynik aka “Alex Mack” in 10 Things I Hate About You
  • Rachel Weisz in The Mummy
  • Rachel McAdams in The Notebook and Mean Girls and Wedding Crashers
  • Sarah Michelle Geller in Cruel Intentions
  • The German Girl in EuroTrip
  • Shannon Elizabeth in American Pie
  • Emma Stone in Super Bad
  • Charlize Theron in The Italian Job
  • Denise Richards/Neve Campbell in Wild Things
  • Amy Smart in Road Trip
  • Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde
  • Tara Reid in Van Wilder and American Pie
  • Rachel Leigh Cook in She’s All That

Your Official Movie Odds to Win The Title!

Oceans 11    3/2
Old School    2/1
Saving Private Ryan    4/1
American Pie    5/1
Titanic    6/1
Independence Day    9/1
Fight Club    25/1
Lord of the Rings    30/1
Bourne Identity    40/1
Meet the Parents    75/1
Training Day    125/1
Gladiator    150/1
The Field    200/1



1 Comment

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One response to “The Millennial Movie Challenge

  1. Pingback: The Millennial Movie Challenge: Championship Match | The 500 Section

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