The Battle of the Brunettes
Two marquee match-ups led to two marquee finishes. As a sign of the times for the good US of A, our last buxom, all-American blondes couldn’t hold off the second half offensive onslaughts put on by their Romanian and Brazilian counterparts. Check out the box scores if you don’t believe me:
(1) Catrinel Menghia vs. (1) Stacey Keibler
Final Score: 6 – 4
CM: 32 points, 11 rebounds, 4 assists, 51% FG, 38% 3PT, 88% FT
SK: 18 points, 9 rebounds, 9 assists, 41% FG, 10% 3PT, 91% FT
(3) Adriana Lima vs. (4) Kate Upton
Final Score: 6 – 4
AL: 29 points, 6 rebounds, 14 assists, 44% FG, 41% 3PT, 82% FT
KU: 32 points, 15 rebounds, 2 assists, 38% FG, 22% 3PT, 91% FT
Ms. Catrinel Menghia utilized her European offensive gameplan and relied on a bevy of healthy jump shooting both within and beyond the arc. Between her great wingspan and Fiat driven penetration in the paint, Ms. Menghia kept her halftime lead steady as she implemented a strong zone defense against Ms. Stacey “Clooney” Keibler. Keibler’s age started to show late in the 2nd half as she slowed down and couldn’t knock in any long range shots. Meanwhile, Kate Upton realized her true colors as a one-woman, showboating One-and-Done prospect that she is, taking a whopping 28 shots and nary looking her teammates way during the final stretches of the game. While putting on a statistical show for the NBA scouts in the building, her LeBron one-woman show ended up proving similar results to Miami’s finest player. Meanwhile, somewhere in New York, Carmello Anthony is nodding with great approval. Adriana Lima took the advice of her former NBA Serbian husband Marko Jaric, threw it in the trash, and put on a masterful Magic Johnson-esque performance dishing out 14 dimes (no HIV joke here, sorry).
And so as we bid farewell to our two lovely ladies, I’d like to take the time to reflect and give a great thanks and sigh of relief to the fact that Emma Watson did not make it this far. The wiretaps can be turned off now.
Without further ado, Gentlemen and Gentlemen, I present to you the 2012 Ms. 500 Championship Match-up (Brought to you by Fiat and Kia)!